Using Your Gifts To Make A Difference
Founder of “Still Brave” Shares His Story
Still Brave Childhood Cancer Foundation is committed to providing non-medical supportive care to children with cancer and their families. They take funds raised to help families pay rent, mortgages, car payments, home repairs, funerals, etc. They also have a program for the brothers and sisters of children with cancer who almost always get overshadowed — through no one’s fault — and host events to celebrate them as well.
The families Still Brave helps tend to be below the poverty line before their child’s cancer diagnosis. They do a lot of work with inner city kids, African American kids, Spanish kids, immigrants. I’ve never asked if they were a citizen of the United States before I offer help. Still Brave is who social workers call when there’s no one else to call.
From skydiving, tattoos, and boxing rings to ultra marathons and poetry-a-thons, funds are raised in the most unique ways for Still Brave.
Let’s learn more about Tattoo Tom and how Still Brave helps “brave little souls.”
Poet Life Podcast: Where’d you get your name?
Tattoo Tom: Most people assume that my nickname came from the tattoo shop that I owned, but the truth of the matter is I was also a videographer at a skydiving facility. And there were five Toms that were there. So in order to differentiate them between me and everybody else, they started calling me Tattoo Tom.
Later on, I became a professional boxer, and that moniker followed me into my boxing career, which was short lived. And then when Still Brave started, it just followed me there. It’s just kind of my shtick that’s really worked.
PLP: What year was it when you got into the fight?
Tom: So my daughter was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma in 2007, and I was a single dad at the time. I really got to the point where I was struggling because I couldn’t work. There were treatments. We spent eight, nine hour days at the chemotherapy clinic five days a week, and then I had to care for her on the weekends. So I couldn’t work. And that was tough for a guy like me to be in. I’ve owned my own businesses my entire life. As much as I hate to admit it, there was one time where we were just desperate. We didn’t have any food. We were getting food delivered from a soup kitchen. A food bank was helping us out. It was a foundation that stepped up and helped us with our rent that month. I felt so grateful to them that I was trying to think of a way that I could pay them back.
We came up with this idea for me to fight at the Patriot Center. So I set up a boxing match. And the money we had gotten from the foundation was about $1,500 or $1,600. Even though I got knocked out in the second round of the match, I raised over $20,000. So I gave the entire amount of money back to the foundation that helped us out.
My first fight was in November of 2008, and my daughter walked me into the ring of the fight. Because I lost that fight, we scheduled a rematch, and unfortunately my daughter passed away in January of 2009. So the second time, I walked into the ring by myself. I lost that fight again — I’m not a professional boxer. I decided I was going to pick up a safer sport.
We were able to touch a lot of lives, and that segued into Still Brave.
When my daughter died, I wondered why somebody didn’t do anything. And then I realized I am somebody.
— Tattoo Tom
PLP: Tell me about the name, Still Brave.
Tom: I ran out to the pharmacy one evening. I was gone for 10, 15 minutes. When I got home, she had gotten up to use the restroom and she struggled to get there. She was on an oxygen tank. She had gotten tangled up in her lines, fell down, and couldn’t get back up. So when I got home, she was crying. She had soiled herself, and I picked her up, washed her, and carried her back to bed.
She whispered in my ear, “I’m still brave, right Dad?”
She was still brave. A couple days later, my daughter died. She fought bravely, and she really was still brave.
The irony is that she wasn’t being brave for herself. She was being brave for me. So I promised that I would spend the rest of my life helping children with cancer and their families that were in similar situations. Shortly thereafter, Still Brave became a reality. The universe has conspired in our favor, and we’ve been a force to reckon with.
PLP: You told me you wrote a little poetry?
Tom: I’ve been writing poetry since I was a kid. Something that’s interesting is that I had a seventh grade English teacher who tasked us with writing a poem, and in school I was too cool for poetry. But she talked me into it. She really impacted me. Her name was Mrs. Link. She was like, “Tom, I think you know, based on what you’ve done in class, you can write a good poem.” From that moment forward, I wrote a lot of poetry.
Occasionally you’ll see me down at Busboys and Poets on open mic night. Every once in a while I’ll get down there. I’m also a singer songwriter. So I write a lot of songs. And I’m also currently working on a book. There’s a lot of layers to me.
PLP: You started to incorporate the tattoos in your fundraising, right?
Tom: Yeah. I’m always trying to think of how I can incorporate what I am into what I do. I’m just trying to be Tattoo Tom that does childhood cancer activism, right? So I’ve incorporated skydiving. I’ve incorporated music. So I was like, how do I incorporate tattoos into this?
It started serendipitously, quite frankly. I used to own a tattoo shop, and the now owner is a good friend of mine. He said to me one day, “If you ever have a family whose child passes away, you call me and I’ll hook them up.”
That’s sort of how it started. We started doing tattoos for families whose children passed away, free of charge. As things started to evolve, I got this idea one day. What would happen if I decided to auction part of my body to the highest bidder? They could tattoo anything they want on it (within reason, of course).
The first auction I did, this little girl with brain cancer raised $3,000. She and her friend went out and did yard sales, car washes, odd jobs and did everything they could.
Do you know what they made me get tattooed? They made me get a kitty-cat-butterfly-unicorn standing on a softball. Then for the next four or five years, we auctioned off a part of my body and got a variety of tattoos.
PLP: Let me ask you, how do you do it? Especially with the funerals and hospital stays?
Tom: On a scale of one to 10, when my daughter died it hurt 12.
There was one little girl named Gabriela Miller, and she and I would write poetry together. She would write a line, then I would write the next line. And we got 10 or 15 of the most amazing poems. So when, unfortunately, Gabriela passed away, it hurt 11. There’s been a lot of kids I’ve gotten close to, and when they pass away it hurts 11. When most kids pass away, it hurts 10 like it should. But here’s the thing, I haven’t gotten back to 12. I know in my heart that I can get through 12.
I’m not afraid of anything in this world. But what I am afraid of is 13. That’s how I know I can do it.
PLP: If you could leave something with the folks, what would you say to them?
Tom: I’m not going to tell you what to do. I’m not going to tell you what to think. But I want you to do something. Think about these kids. They don’t have a voice, and they haven’t done anything to deserve cancer.
When my daughter died, I wondered why somebody didn’t do anything. And then I realized I am somebody. So what I’m looking for is for somebody to help me. Please help me.
Advocate. Donate. Volunteer. Do something.
If you would like to learn more about Still Brave or donate to this incredible organization, visit stillbrave.org
